It is midweek. At noon today we cross the middle of the week ... we're over the hump, as a local radio announcer often announces each Wednesday at noon. The thought crossed my mind: do I tire a little in my prayer? Do I feel like I am climbing a steep hill, just struggling to cross over the peak to enjoy the easier side?How often are we like Augustine. He knew that he could easily come to know himself through his dedication and fidelity to prayer. But, like so many human beings, he prayed ... "but not yet, Lord." Yes, there are the times when we might set our prayer goals to what we believe to be a more realistic expectations for ourselves ... usually praying something like Augustine ... not yet, Lord.
Spiritual writers, time and again, remind us that we must raise our prayer bar higher than we believe necessary or possible. This is most likely the only way we can have success in strengthening our relationship with God. We have to believe this even though there are the times when our prayer experience feels like we are stuck at the bottom of Mt. Everest.
We might consider looking at what prayer or prayers we use in our meditations or reflections. Are there particular prayers or parts of the gospels or teachings of the Church that expect too much of us? Are there times when particular prayers really scare us? No metanoia, change, has ever come easily in and through prayer. Imagine how Zaccheus must have felt when Jesus told him he wanted to visit with him. Ugh oh! What's he going to say to me? This is exactly what happens when, again, we feel that we are at the bottom and top is so far up and the climb so difficult.
